Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Stop Pestering Me! – Continued

Hello, I’m Heather, and I’m the pestered wife that my husband Bill describes in his letter about how we had the radical idea of starting to use a male Chastity Belt to improve our love life.

When Bill told me that he was putting our story on the CB chat room, I was horrified, but agreed after he promised that it would be anonymous. However we have had so many responses from couples who identify with it, and a number of questions about my side of the story, that Bill has persuaded me to tell it in my words. For those who are wondering where the anonymity has gone; my name is not Heather and my husband is not Bill!

I do work very hard, and often have to work at home in the evenings during the week and often even Sunday evenings in preparation for Monday. I will not say what I do just in case it helps people identify us. But the job takes its toll, and I’m afraid that love making during the week had become quite tiresome, and during the week I only usually succumbed to Bill’s advances in order to keep him happy. I only really get turned on when I am feeling relaxed, mostly weekends and holidays, and Bill’s constant attention, whilst flattering as I approach a certain age, was annoying and upsetting me. I was getting upset with myself because I got annoyed with Bill, which is unfair on him, and also getting upset because I felt that I was not fulfilling my role as a wife and lover. At times this started to spill over with me showing my annoyance to Bill, and then I felt even more wretched. Bill and I both were trying to cope with it, but finding it difficult, and I was beginning to resent him finding me sexually attractive!

As Bill said in his piece, this got worse after our Children left home. I threw myself more into work to compensate, which made me even more tired, whilst he clearly started to find the freedom made him think more about sex opportunities.

When he first came up with the idea of a CB and showed me the letter he refers to from Hilda and Jeff, I must admit that I did have some pretty frantic thoughts, and him going through some life crisis was among them. I also wondered if I was failing Bill as a partner. When I looked at the web sites that he suggested, I was a bit shocked, probably because many of the letters and stories are more extreme than I had expected after Hilda and Jeff, and the extreme ones tended to stick in my mind more than the ones that were closer to us. I know that I disappointed Bill initially with my reaction. I could tell by the way that he had snuggled up to me, when showing me Hilda and Jeff’s letter, that this was an idea he was keen on. I can usually tell by his behaviour that he wants to talk me round to something, like a new TV or Hi-Fi. But I didn’t feel like playing along with this one.

During the six weeks that followed that Bill talks about, he was more attentive than usual (although he is normally pretty good), and I could not help thinking that he was still hankering after this idea. This added to my usual level of guilt, and I suppose that is why I was particularly sharp with him when he came on to me and I was not in the mood. So eventually I asked him to show me the letter again and then to log me in to the web site. This time, I thought I had better find out what this was all about, as I would not get any peace until it was brought to a resolution.

What I discovered actually surprised me. Yes, there are people that are extreme (to put it mildly) and I guess, and even hope for their sakes, that much of it is fantasy. After a few months of being a keyholder, I am now far more inclined to be relaxed about people doing what they want so long as they do not hurt anyone. But at the time, I went off to bed with a lot more questions than answers buzzing around in my head. I did discover a serious streak running through many of the articles that I could relate to, with some obviously very earnest normal people with real problems and apparently real solutions. I know that Bill hoped that I would emerge from those web sites panting to play, but I was not at all sure that I was ready yet.

The following day, I resolved to talk to Bill objectively about it, and had more or less decided that I was going to try and talk him out of the idea altogether. When I asked him what he had in mind, he looked so pleased and had obviously thought it all out so carefully that I hadn’t the heart to turn him off, and so relented and agreed to try it out. Bill describes how we came up with the rules and we decided on the CB-3000. In fact it wasn’t “we”. He had already thought about the rules, and had already identified the CB-3000 as being suitable, and I just went along with him. The only addition I made to the initial rules was that cuddles should be allowed. I am fond of cuddles, and miss not getting them from my children, so I was not going to forgo having them with Bill!

In typical Bill fashion on the day that it arrived, he jumped on me enthusiastically as soon as I came through the door. It was at the end of a very heavy day and the last thing I wanted was any sexual business; all I wanted was a glass of wine and my armchair. When Bill went on about it, I felt horribly pressured, and then thought to myself “hang on, this is what the CB is supposed to stop!”, and so had the brilliant idea of putting a stop to him straight away by using the punishment rules we had decided upon. I had to hold myself back from laughing at the look on his face when I told him he had broken the rules and was due one punishment and possibly two. He looked both pleased and shocked at the same time, but he stopped pestering me, and meekly brought me a glass of wine and massaged my sore feet for me. When he brought me the wine, I relented a bit while he massaged my feet and I asked him about it, and then seeing his keen expression, I told him to go away and put the CB on.

While I was making supper, my mind was whizzing around, but I thought that I must be positive about this if it was going to work, or else I could see our relationship getting more strained instead of less. So I resolved to start off playing strictly according to the rules we had agreed, and to appear both serious and reserved about it (which to an extent was the way I felt). So when he appeared with the keys and said that he had put it on, then I just accepted them matter-of-factly and I put one key in the bathroom for him to use to let himself in and out as we had agreed, and the second I put in my purse. We then continued for the rest of the evening as if nothing had happened.

At bed time, when he appeared from the bathroom, I was already in bed and he initially sidled into the bedroom, looking a bit embarrassed, but I called him over and asked to have a good look. Although Bill had shown me pictures, I had expected it to be rather unsightly, but actually he looks kind of cute in it, all neatly packaged up, and not at all what I expected. I normally love to see Bill’s full manhood, but this also appealed to me in a way. What I saw was the man that I love, but instead of his manhood being threatening, it was under my control. It was quite a profound moment for me, and I felt a kind of release from pressure. The adventure had also been floating around in the back (if not the front) of my mind all evening and I was feeling quite turned on, so I suggested that Bill should pay his first fine off and take me to an orgasm. As he especially likes licking me out, I let him make me come that way and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. After I had come, I felt my usual obligation to make him come too, and then reminded myself that I did not have to. As the punishment and consequent abstention was his idea, I felt I did not need to feel guilty. I go off the boil pretty quickly and feel sleepy after my orgasm, so actually I was secretly very pleased not having to either satisfy him or to have to get up to wash again, and we snuggled down straight to sleep. I woke a couple of times because of Bill fidgeting, obviously feeling frustrated, and I was tempted to suggest relieving him, but then remembered my resolution to play this by the rules, and reminding myself that this was his idea and he only had himself to blame, I went quickly and comfortably back to sleep.

After the first week or so, we settled down to a routine, and after a couple of months I am actually finding the whole thing surprisingly good for me. I have stopped feeling guilty about not having sex when I don’t really want to, because I have realised Bill is actually getting quite excited by the control, so I now do not feel under pressure for sex, which is fantastic. Also because I can make the running whenever I feel like it, and don’t have to if I don’t feel like it anymore, my life with Bill feels much easier, and we seem more romantic. I used to be nervous about starting to cuddle him at bed time when I was tired out, because he would always take that as an overture to sex, even when all I wanted was simply a cuddle. I, of course, would then have the dilemma of either feeling guilty at turning him off or else have to force myself to get turned on. The latter I would do for Bill’s sake, because I love him, but rarely really enjoyed. Now I can cuddle him all I like and he knows that a cuddle is all I am looking for unless I produce the key.

What is fun is the transformation when I feel really randy for a proper session and I get the key and let him out. He springs to attention and I find the contrast between him caged and him standing erect is even more exciting than it previously had been.

I do admit that I enjoy both him licking me out and the extra attention that he gives to helping me achieve my orgasm when he is still locked up. I also like not ending filled up with his sperm when I have just had a shower ready for bed, and so I also admit that I play him out a bit on the extra punishments so that we don’t tend to end up with penetrative sex during the week. He doesn’t seem to mind, in fact I think he enjoys it. I hadn’t really noticed it until Bill said, but I think he is right in that I end up having more orgasms now than I did before, all because I can do it all at my own pace. Strange to think that putting him in a Chastity Belt results in more sex!

I love his manhood, and Bill is not really right about me thinking he is too small. But I know from some of the letters that he reads and points out to me in men’s magazines that he likes to play at this role, so I go along with it. As for going with another man, I don’t think that is for me in reality, but again I’ll play along with his fantasy if that’s what he wants to imagine.

I don’t feel guilty about sex anymore, and I’m happy that I am right not to feel that way. I know that Bill is actually enjoying the sexual thrill of being restrained when I don’t feel like making love, so in a strange way I am actually keeping him equally sexually satisfied by either making love or not making love, entirely as I please. Also not only was it all his idea, but also he can suggest that we call a halt at any time. Mind you, I’m enjoying the freedom, so I would be disappointed if we did stop now.

So my advice to any of you wives out there who are thinking of trying this, especially if your man has suggested it himself, is “give it a go”. After all, you have nothing to lose. If it doesn’t work for you, you can give it up at any time, but if it does work, as it has for Bill and me, then you will find the release from pressure a great reward.

Oh! And one other thought. Although Bill can just manage to go to the loo standing up when he is wearing the CB, he finds it much easier sitting. Just think, no more loo seats left up!


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